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Dog Day Diaries – Week 2


Dog Day Diaries: Diary of Dexter the Dog – Week 2

Just came back from a tiring and harrowing trip. And this is one of the terrible things I have to put up with. Once every month either Joe or Jill takes me to a sinister man in white coat, whom they mysteriously call a ‘wet’. And I don’t know why they call him that, he is never wet when we reach there. He is as dry as a desert. But then humans really are confusing. Now this ‘wet’ enjoys torturing animals. He has a big room where many humans who bring their pets to be tortured wait for their turn. One by one the animals and their humans are sent in. Then this ‘wet’ pokes us with a small round thing attached to a tube which is attached to his ears. I have never seen any other human with such deformity. I guess he was born like that. But that is okay, I don’t judge humans based on their appearance. But what happens next is what makes me hate this ‘wet’. He pokes us with something sharp and pointed. It is like an ant bite. I think Joe and Jill take me to him to torture me so that I would give up the location of the spot where I hid some ugly things from the house. Like a broken photo frame which was so broken that instead of one, they kept four photos in it. And yeah the ladle from kitchen with which Jill once hit me when I was trying to taste the food to make sure it is ok so that she won’t be embarrassed in front of the guests she was expecting. Now these humans never appreciate good deeds.

Actually not just humans, even some animals do not appreciate good things you do for them. Or maybe they are just dumb. I can say that about Dexter the cat, but I expected more from Baby. I hope you remember her, the cat who lives with Justin and Jenna across the street. Just two days ago she was being chased by Batman, the homeless cat. And I growled and Batman and scared him away. I expected some gratitude after this, maybe a comely meow of respect. But what do I get? A snare and a growl, from her before she turns tail and runs into her home. Tell me about thanklessness. But I did get a meow of gratitude from somewhere else. Yes, you guessed it right, from Dexter the cat. That dumb-wit thought I scared Batman away because he likes Baby. Like I care.

Now I think there has been some news on the human front too. Last night suddenly Mr. and Mrs.Kumar suffered a dramatic hearing loss. They had to shout to be heard. They discussed something very important almost all night and they discussed it very loudly. They also tested their hearing by throwing things and banging on the walls and floor. But I think this sudden hearing loss is a common disease among humans. Sometimes Joe suffers from it. When I am watching the house at night I can hear Jill screaming at him “yeah baby, yeah baby.” But I guess he doesn’t hear as she repeats it again and again.

Well not to deviate from the topic I think Mr. and Mrs.Kumar were discussing about getting a new pet. I won’t blame them. I wouldn’t have Dexter the cat as a pet for myself. I already said that he is the dumbest cat around. And how do I know this? I mean how do I know that they are thinking of getting a new pet? In the morning Mrs.Khanna was telling Jill that if it continued like this then they would get a divorce. Now I don’t know which pet this divorce is. I think it is one of the breeds of those colorful parrots from some far off place. There is a growing trend in humans of getting those colorful parrots. Though I don’t know what use a caged bird is to humans. I might support Dexter the cat (as much as I dislike him) against this divorce that they are planning to get.

I have tried to warn Dexter the cat about their plans but the dumb cat just stares at me. I tried to get him chase cars with me so that it may improve is worth. But he won’t move his lazy bum. I never get any help with chasing cars. I wish there was another dog in the neighborhood. Anyways being the only official and responsible dog of the neighborhood, I will go out and chase cars now. See you next week. Till then take care. Dexter the dog signing off.